My boys are a lot like me in some ways, a lot like their dad in others, and yet are all completely, 100% their own separate selves and it has nothing to do with the color clothing they wear or the toys I buy them.Īnd that’s something you’ll figure out eventually. I wanted a girl, or at least some idealized Gilmore Girls fantasy version of a girl - now that I have actual children in my house, I can laugh about my completely unrealistic expectations that a girl would automatically equal a little mini-me and a boy would be some kind of foreign, unfamiliar species of human. I spent a lot of my first pregnancy feeling guilty about my disappointed reaction to the “it’s a boy!” ultrasound, and my ongoing ambivalence about having a son. I wrote about this, once Noah (my first child) was older: We’re all supposed to say, “Oh, I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, I just want it to be healthy” and blah blah THRONE OF LIES. And it would all be true! But I don’t know how much it would really help you navigate the complicated emotions that you are (understandably) going through right now. I could go on and on about what it’s like to mother a son and how it’s amazeballs and transforming and how my boys have truly helped me become a better woman, feminist, wife, human being, all that. Please help me find the same love for the little man I need to get to know inside me and to let go of my dream of a little girl. I’ve always imagined a mini-me with matching long unruly hair and pink ruffle bloomers. I’m asking for your help because I know you are madly in love with your boys and I was hoping you could use this time to gush about your love for them and shed some light on how awesome they can be. I’ve found out at the super anxiety, nesting, over planning, first-time mother stage. I’ve heard that this can happen, but the stories I’ve heard usually have the parents surprised when they are holding their bundle of joy in their arms and the amazingness of the birth experience overshadows the shock. I’ve started returning all our pretty pink items, but I’m finding myself unenthusiastic to start replacing the items with blue and … I don’t know trains? I’m shocked and having trouble switching gears. Now I understand that this is an over-reacting hormone-induced analogy, but I feel like someone has taken the little girl I’ve been bonding with inside of me and replaced her with a boy.
So when we found out the sex, it just seemed like confirmation of what we already knew.įast forward to now and during my second ultrasound they announce….
It wasn’t much of a surprise because everyone said from the moment we announced our pregnancy that we were having a girl. Since then I’ve been daydreaming in a sea of pink ribbons and sweet and spice, and everything nice. At 19 weeks I had my first official ultrasound and we found out we were having a little girl. I never went all out on Nathan's room decorating, but now I am trying to keep a theme that fits both a baby and a little boy.I’m currently at 25 weeks of my first pregnancy (love your pregnancy calendar by the way). I am planning a slight remodel of the boys room (formerly Nathan's room). Thankfully everything from Nathan has been stored in my basement and just needs to be washed and put out. Now I just need to focus on getting our house ready for a new baby again.
As long as the baby stays head down, she thinks that everything should be great for a nice natural birth. She said that everything looks great to try a VBAC (my preference). Then I had an appointment with the doctor that delivered Nathan to talk about VBAC or C-section options. He is head down, hopefully he will stay that way. They estimate that baby #2 weighs 4 pounds right now and will be around 8 pounds at birth.
I am thinking it was the ultrasound making things look weird, but this baby might just have the lips of Angelina Jolie. He got to see his little face! He has a little button nose and HUGE lips. I had my 32 weeks sonogram last week to check on baby #2.
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